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Teeth: ONE - My Teeth. Here Today. Gone tomorrow. Back soon.

“There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth"

I’m a big fan of The Bible. For the dodgy reason of all the artistic endeavour which it has inspired. As an almost lifelong atheist I hasten to say that my struggle with the value of those artistic endeavours is an ongoing and earnest one. Some of it is achingly beautiful though… even if misdirected in my view. The good book also provides a redoubtable source of literary expression. That introductory quotation occurs a few times as a description of the torments of the damned in Hell. Very soon (tomorrow!) I will undergo procedures to relieve me of the remaining teeth in my upper jaw. The success or otherwise of my recovery phase will determine whether a prosthetic replacement becomes ten times more effective than what advancing years have left me with. So… not too much weeping (I fear the dentist not) and a fair bit less gnashing of teeth for a while.

Drastic measures, eh.

Decision made. And, using my currently remaining teeth to bite the bullet over cost, thoughts turn to the possibility of a running theme to this blog for the first part of 2019. Oh… Happy New Year everyone! That theme? Has to be a regular but hopefully not too painfully detailed account of what effects my chosen path sets up. Bearing in mind that my eating habits are going to be sorely modified for some time.

You might find it difficult to believe that it has only occurred to me while writing here that poet Pam Ayres’ sentiments in ‘Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth’ might easily be mentioned. Instead, for many weeks I’ve had an earworm (bookworm would be a better description) nagging me to revisit something captured in between the Alan Aldridge designed covers of John Lennon’s Penguin collection. A trip to the loft with desecrated decorations on Twelfth Night also allowed the retrieval of my 1966 copy of the said volume. Much nostalgia. About ten years ago I bought my brother a new edition for his birthday and we recited extensive passages from memory without referencing the text. A snippet of one favourite is here between those covers before the obvious ‘something’ which has been in my thoughts.

There. Hope I’ve not given too much spoiler for those uninitiated in the trials of ‘Good Dog Nigel’. Distract yourself immediately with the main course below…

Distracted? Good. I hasten to add that any thoughts of cosmetic improvement have been very low on my personal list of priorities. It’s all about the ultimate enhancement of my chomping capabilities. But as I go for extractions which will be followed by several weeks of avoidance of ‘proper’ chewing foods it would be great if any of you could send your finest suggestions as to what liquid lunches (or any other time of the day meals) you can recommend that are tasty and nutritious.

I have a juicer and NutriBullet at the ready. Hit me with your finest food flummery. But please steer well clear of all that nutribollox business!

I’ll see you again when whatever they use instead of novocaine has worn off and I can stop slurring my blog posts!

Kind regards


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