Cheoff

A site about food, drink and other random stuff!

Cooker #26

Oh, parping poop, I still haven’t booked any tickets for the Erasure tour… but the opener of #Cooker 26 rather demands that it should be done very soon.

I can’t give you any more than fifty minutes of juicy (never from concentrate) goodness to complete this particular playlist but I am of the firm belief that the aural assault on offer will satisfy in the extreme.

Do let me know if I have disappointed in any way… refunds are only available within 28 days of listening!

Cooker #25

Nothing much going on so I thought I'd shove in a new #Cooker to give a particle of pep to our lives.

Mrs Cheoff says there's a general election taking place today but I'm sure we should ignore her delightfully silly asides and give ourselves over to the music. After all, whatever the result, we'll still all be in a hell of a mess tomorrow.

I say, "Let your ear lobes do the listening."

Right... Mrs Cheoff also says I need to check on my understanding of the  physiology of hearing. Be seeing you!

Cooker #24

Wow. we* have reached two dozen #Cookers! Of course, I shall be celebrating a couple of 'baker's dozens' when Number 26 comes around... must seize every opportunity to grab a mathematical pattern.

Maths is what music is all about, isn't it. Well, physics, anyway. No, it's more than that, eh. The intervention of inspired people who find ways to jerk us into responses through clever understanding of wavelengths that work.

But hey, those flibbertigibbets have it easy... just recording a few well-arranged sounds. My task is far more onerous than their simple efforts. I have to agonise for weeks on end as to which tracks I should pass on to you. But please, I insist, don't trouble yourselves for too very long with my plight as I thank you for massaging your eardrums with the enclosed.

* Yes... in case you wondered, my 'we' is very royal. I intend returning to the life of a commoner before next #Cooker time!

Cooker #23

I really have little idea why Theresa May chose to steal my thunder by making her snap election announcement just before this release of Cooker #23. I suppose it must be put down to deliberate spite or her insane jealousy of my extra five years on this planet, which gives me an unassailable lead over her in the fashion stakes.

I leave you to join me in making other malicious inferences until we are corrected by an apology from Downing Street.

While you and I wait for that let's skip back to something more reliable... this here April Cooker.

A father and son Dury duo was bound to appear eventually. Here it is among some not very oft-listened to musicians. Don't put Courteeners in that category. They are here at the request of a former pupil. Thank you for your good taste in music, Kerri... I'm sure I would have discovered them in time.

A demanding track winds up proceedings. How do we enjoy the loveliest of love songs when we know the pain of the person who wrote it?

I'll drag myself back to less complicated things by sending a reminder to our PM to hasten that apology.

Thank you once again for your ears. And do please remember... look both ways before you listen.

Cooker #22

It's Friday. It's five o'clock. And it's CRACKERJA...

Squrrrp... Rrrrrp... Sgrrrllldlp. Erp - I might have gone a little off track there. No matter. I have completely regained the compos of my mentis by listening to the entirety of this, my second palindromic #Cooker (Ah, Cooker 11, how we loved you).

And the restoration of the equilibrium of my mind is so complete that I have little (no) hesitation in shoving this 64 minute distraction right before your very ears... merry listening!

Cooker #21

Happy New Year!...

 

Slight pause for a considered breath of reflection and remorse. Where the hell have I been! 

Let's just say that I was unavoidably and almost indescribably detained by one of my regular triangular attacks of lassitude, lethargy and lasso practice.

All over and behind me now. I've discovered that the squeak of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squeals on the other two sidewalks. 

In short ("Yes, do keep it short" I hear you saying) I am ready and willing to proffer my coming-of-age #Cooker for your untrammelled delight.

'Ere 'tis. It concludes with one of those anthemic track type thingys. 

Continued thanks for the attention from your tympanic cavities and eustachian tubes.

Cooker #20

Much consternation as I realise that this is my first post since relying on the magnificent Matthew's guest playlist at the beginning of last month. So let's push out number 20 of my official offerings before the weekend is over. Turn up the volume and you might even escape listening to the dull thud of Monday arriving.

Anyone given The as a middle name deserves sympathetic consideration so the opener here comes from someone who I met a few years back. Mr Don chatted to me for much longer than most people do on first contact but, instead of being grateful for his indulgence, I went back to family and friends and we all made insulting comments about his choice of hairstyle. Terrible, I know... maybe this promotion of his work will see me spend a little less time in Purgatory.

Eleven support tracks to go with your headliner. All courtesy of my ambling and rambling through Spotify.

Delighted to see the latest Rolling Stones album being available so soon and being so darn good. I'll let you find that one... after you've finished listening here, of course. And, of course, thank you for your listening.

Cooker - Guest Playlist

Wow... this happened and I am swimming in a sea of sonic smashingness.

Link through this cartouche for immediate transport to a steady stream of Matthew's good taste in music 

Link through this cartouche for immediate transport to a steady stream of Matthew's good taste in music 

The very giving and truly wonderful Mr Moore has come alongside with his own flotilla of fabulously defibrillating tracks.
He came uninvited but softly and with grace. His unexpected offering gives me the glorious chance to share his generosity and spare you, for a while, from another of my own paltry playlists.
I have already spliced my main brace… come and join me on the poop deck and let’s enjoy this together!

Thank ee most kindly, Cap'n Matthew.
 

Matthew's ability to produce sweet, sweet music from his vocal chords and twanging instrument are being further developed and refined at this very moment. Be assured that a link to his YouTube channel will be forthcoming as soon as it has come forth.

Cooker #19

So much music out there. Well, I say good show for that... and present to you twelve more tracks. All you have to do now is listen, deliberate and decide which of these are keepers and which are sleepers. Ah, yes, and you should also decide which are offensive enough for you to set to with drafting a letter of complaint to me. I can take it.
Thank you for listening. May all your responses save you putting pen to paper.

Cooker #18

It's two Fridays after the last Friday a #Cooker was posted. Time for a refresher course, eh?

I have just given this selection a final ear-test and it was so fine I felt like keeping the whole damn thing to myself. In the end I convinced myself that generosity was the better part of valour and enrolled in the nearest order of chivalry. It appears that my local branch are competing in the ping-pong league at the 'Swan With Two Necks' on Sunday and I'm in the second pair for doubles. Off to check the pimpling on my bat... enjoy the music and wish me luck!

Cooker #17

September is upon us! Octember and Novober are waiting in the wings. I don't need to tell you it's the "season of mitts and yellow truthfulness"... John Keats already did that years ago, didn't he.

In a rare attempt to spare you more ramblings of the above variety, allow me to present another #Cooker. Getting up to number seventeen means that I really need some sort of checking system. Until I'm more organised, please let me know if I'm repeating tracks or dwelling on artists too heavily. Who knows... I might have my very own playlist filing system and tracking device installed before next autumn.

Thanks for glistening!

Cooker #16a... Moore for your money

This is so hot on the heels of Cooker #16 that I'm sure you'll be demanding some very fine reason. Very well.

Mr Moore is a good friend and sometime work colleague of my two sons. I have spoken to him for scarcely more than a half hour on our only meeting. After being so impressed by Matthew's assured manner, perfect politics and jauntily angled cocktail parasol, I vowed to maintain links at a respectable distance on social media... social media which has alerted me to his imminent celebration of the day on which he arrived on this earth. 

I have already tempted, tinted and tainted this young man with my own musical tastes. Here is evidence that he is in deep trouble as he listens to a gentle offering from my beloved Captain 

You are just one click away from spiralling right into Matthew's Spotify splendour

You are just one click away from spiralling right into Matthew's Spotify splendour

What birthday treat for the person who desires nothing but to give his earnest goodness to a waiting world? Aha - more music is the answer. Of course, present giving is best guided by the premise that you should offer something which you would be glad to receive. So, without further explanation or apology, please allow me to send out assembled sounds which I don't mind listening to. I don't mind you listening to them either. But don't you dare do so before the birthday boy has taken his fill... that would spoil the gift, wouldn't it.

Thank you.

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